


The Face We Choose To Wear

by lexarga



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: F/F, HAROLD THEY'RE LESBIANS, It's More Likely That You Think., Julerose - Freeform, it's my fic and I get to project onto the characters, me? probably writing Rose super ooc because Juleka deserves love and reassurance??
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-05
Updated: 2020-12-05
Packaged: 2021-03-09 17:54:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27870345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lexarga/pseuds/lexarga
Summary: Kitty Section has a big show coming up! Juleka is excited to show everyone her new and improved mask and boast her pride to everyone, standing next to her girlfriend on stage... Because she does want to do it, right?Written as part of the Prompts Anonymous event in the jv's mlb minigames discord server!
Relationships: Juleka Couffaine/Rose Lavillant
Comments: 1
Kudos: 10
Collections: 2020 JV Art and Fic Trade





	The Face We Choose To Wear

**Author's Note:**

> The Prompts Anonymous event paid another visit to the jv's mlb minigames discord!! This is the first of two pieces I wrote, and it somehow inspired some ridiculously cute art by jv herself. Massive thanks to everyone who took part and helped organize it, especially galahad for running it! (and being so patient with the deadlines)  
> Please go check out the other works from this event!

By the time she finished gluing on the last rhinestone, Juleka was certain she was making a mistake. She held the item she had been working on for a couple of weeks now up against the light in her bedroom. It sparkled as the beam hit the stones at different angles, flashing pink and orange and white and purple. She had entertained the idea of changing it up for over a year now, and now that she had actually done it, she felt like throwing it as hard as she could, as far away from her as possible. She felt a primal urge to crush it or break it or hide it. She had effectively turned an item that gave her safety and eased her anxieties into something that would definitely heighten them. If she chose to wear it, that is.

After they came up with the idea of wearing masks on stage, they had worked as a kind of compromise between her and her bandmates. To some extent, she could choose what the audience saw of her; she could control the image she gave other people. She could not imagine playing with Kitty Section without the mask anymore. Not in front of a large crowd, anyway. And now she had decided to make herself this anti-mask of sorts. This thing that would give anyone who saw it insight into parts of her that she still was not sure she was ready for the world to see.

She placed both masks side by side and assessed them. Hers was a little rough around the edges, naturally; she didn’t think she could hold a candle to Marinette’s craftsmanship, but it definitely showed the work she had put into it. The basic layout was the same: Purple ears, purple nose, star around the right eye; the only difference were the colors of the star.

On the original mask —the one Marinette designed for her— the star was pink with a blue outline. On her modified version, however, the star was slightly bigger, and was colored in with five distinct lines of sparkling rhinestones. She looked at the colors and her stomach tightened ever so slightly. It didn’t look bad. The colors stuck out, but not in a bad way, the pinks and the oranges attracted the eye and went with the rest of the colors on the cat-shaped mask. It actually kind of scared her how nice it looked. How nice it looked to her personally.

She stood up and walked the short distance between her room and her brother’s, stood in the doorway and knocked softly. Luka stopped playing the riff he was practicing on his guitar and looked up.

“Hey, Jul. What’s up?”

“I, uh…” She fidgeted with the masks for a moment before continuing, “I finished that thing I told you about.”

Luka looked down at the two masks in her hands and back up to her. He put down the guitar, scooted to the side on his bed and patted a spot next to him on the mattress. “Let’s see them, then”

Juleka sat down next to him on the bed and handed him the masks. He looked them over intently, tilting Juleka’s back and forth to see the stones glimmer under the light.

“It looks great! You really did a good job on this, I’m sure Marinette would be impressed.” He smiled at her, maybe purposely avoiding mention of the elephant in the room.

“Yeah, but…” She drifted off for a moment “Do you think… Do you think I should wear it?”  
Luka looked back down at the masks, then lifted his head once again, looking at his sister with soft encouragement.

“I think you should do what your heart tells you,” he handed her one mask in each hand, “Only you can decide the melody to which your life plays along.”  
Juleka blanked for a second and stared at Luka.

“...What?” she chuckled, “What did that even mean, man?” she pushed him softly with her elbow, smiling and laughing quietly. Luka’s smile widened.

“Just that you should do whatever feels right, Jul.” He said, putting a hand on her shoulder. He then playfully pushed her, leaning back to pick his guitar back up. “Now get out, I’m working on something here!” He chuckled. Juleka stood up and walked toward the door, stopped at it for a moment, looked back, and muttered a low “Thanks” before going back to her own bedroom to ponder the best course of action.

Their next gig was still a week away.

On Thursday, two days before the concert, Juleka had managed to not even think about the masks in the entire day. She had been in a surprisingly good mood for a school day, just getting things done and hanging around her friends. Now she was sitting on one of the benches in the school courtyard with Rose, talking excitedly about their expectations for the upcoming show.  
“I’m sure the venue is going to be full!” Rose’s eyes nearly sparkled. “We’ll have like 500 people listening to Kitty Section! It’s gonna be so cool!” She wriggled in her seat a little and leaned on Juleka, linking her arm through her girlfriend’s and holding her hand. “Are you going to be okay with that, though? I know big crowds can be a lot for you.” She looked up at her expectantly with her big blue eyes, expression laced with a hint of worry.

Juleka’s first reflex was to just say she’d be fine and get that conversation over with, but she stopped to consider it for a second. She had wanted the mask to be a surprise for Rose, if she chose to wear it, a little nod that she was proud to be who she was and to be with her. Now she was not so sure that she could be as proud as she thought.

“I… actually don’t know.” She started. Rose sat up and tightened her grip on Juleka’s hand, looking at her quizzically, waiting for her to continue. “It’s nothing bad. Just…” Maybe she could find the support she needed in her girlfriend. It would ruin the surprise, but she might be just as happy being part of the choice. Juleka sighed. “I kind of wanted to do something with my mask, but I’m not so sure about it anymore.”

“Something how?”

“Well…” She hesitated again. “I made a new one entirely, actually. I thought I wanted to make a statement at the show on Saturday, but I don’t know that I’m ready yet.”

Rose looked surprised, but her expression quickly morphed into something way softer. She tucked a strand of Juleka’s hair behind her ear and her hand lingered on her girlfriend’s shoulder.

“You’re really brave, babe,” she smiled, “I’m sure the mask is really pretty, and it sounds like you worked really hard on it… But you don’t owe anyone a statement.”

“That’s the thing, though. I kind of feel like I owe it to myself. And to you. And to other people like us, to be a little represented and to feel proud, you know?”

Rose held both of Juleka’s hands in hers, finally seeing the full picture. “Sure, it’s nice to feel represented and seen, but just because you can doesn’t mean that you have to put that over what you want. If you don’t feel safe or comfy doing it, you don’t have to. You don’t automatically owe every lesbian in the world representation just because you’re in a band.”

Juleka thought about it for a moment, looking at her hands still holding Rose’s. Her head dropped and found her way onto her girlfriend’s shoulder. She sighed. “I guess we’ll see.”

“It’ll be okay, Jul. I promise.” She softly ran her hand through Juleka’s hair and felt her relax leaning against her shoulder.  
The bell rang and the two girls walked back to class, each holding a different set of worries in her mind.

On Saturday, Juleka couldn’t relax for a moment the entire day. She was anxious and fidgety, and considered throwing her mask out of the nearest window more than once (which one ended up in danger really depended on how she was feeling at any particular moment).  
They didn’t really need masks for the soundcheck when the time came, but she kept stopping to switch them out anyway. She even asked Luka if he thought she should let the light techs know there was a possibility of there being rhinestones on her mask.

“I don’t really think it would matter, it’s just a tiny bit of flare.”

“Maybe I shouldn’t wear it. What if the light hits the stones at the wrong angle and it hurts someone’s eyes?” She was starting to rub her hands together and pick at the ends of her hair.

“Okay. Juleka? I’m gonna need you to take a deep breath in, alright?” He softly grabbed at one of her hands that was already pulling at a strand of hair. She stopped, closed her eyes, and forced down a shaky breath. She held it for a couple of seconds and then exhaled, still feeling jittery. “I really don’t know why I thought this was a good idea,” she said. Luka turned her hand and started making circles on her palm with his thumb. “Hey, you’re okay,” he said. “Can you breathe with the circles? Remember the pattern we learned about, 4-7-8”. Juleka started to feel a little better, and she closed her eyes again as she breathed with Luka’s help for what felt like hours, but was probably only a couple of minutes. When she felt calmer, she opened her eyes.

“Feel better?” Luka asked.

“Yeah, I think. It’s just a lot, you know?” She slumped onto a nearby chair in the green room. “I didn’t think it would be this hard going in. I just thought it would be cool.” Luka kneeled in front of her and gave her that older brother look she usually couldn’t stand, but in that moment just felt comforting. “I know. Just remember you’re okay. Everything will be okay, no matter what you do. People will be here to hear you play, and you’re one amazing bassist, so don’t forget that, okay?” He stood up.

“You’re right… Thanks, bro.”

“...Never call me that again in your life.”

“Yeah, it was weird.” They both laughed and left the room to get something to eat before their show later in the evening.

Like all things, the time finally came when the entire group was waiting backstage, the show minutes away from beginning. Juleka looked out at the crowd as the final bars of the last song on the pre-show playlist echoed around the venue. She looked back down at the table, assessing the two masks yet again. Just as her breathing hitched and she hugged her own torso to keep the unpleasantness inside, she felt a hand fall softly on her shoulder. When she turned around, she saw Luka smiling expectantly.

“So which one will it be?” He took one of the masks in his hand and twirled it around for a moment before putting it back. “You know either one will be fine, right?”

Juleka thought back through her worries from that week, and the words of reassurance she had heard. It wasn’t quite enough to make the butterflies go away, but she managed to breathe out and look at her brother.

“Yeah. Yeah, I know.” A small smile formed on her lips. “You’ll just have to find out when we go on stage, won’t you?” Luka laughed and lightly ruffled her hair. At that moment, the hall went dark and silent for about a second before all the stage lights came on. The crowd cheered wildly; it was time.

“Sure will. See you out there?”

“After I fix my hair, dumbass.”

“I love you too, Jul” he winked and stood behind Ivan, ready to march onto the stage.

Juleka quickly brushed her hair with her hands and reached for the masks on the table, hesitating one last time. Rose walked up to the wing, ready to lead the group onstage. She looked back at Juleka and held out her hand. “Ready?”

Juleka felt her chest swell at the sight, the excitement finally kicking in. She grabbed a mask and put it on, taking Rose’s hand in hers.  
“Ready.”

As they came out to the stage, the crowd cheered and applauded for Kitty Section. They took their places as Rose masterfully hyped up the crowd, and the first beats of their opening song melted all of Juleka’s fears away; letting her shine brighter than the pink, orange, and white rhinestones she wore proudly.


End file.
